Stella 2010 from the heart

2010-05-08T14:22:00.002+08:00

When I decided to bring this topic back to my blog, I finally realise that,"Stella, it is time for you to go."
I know, Life is unpredictable . Not only life, almost everything. You can met a unknown person on the street and then be friends. But, Can this friendship last? Frankly speaking, nobody know. Initially, I thought "waiting" is a good word for me. But, this is foolish. A stupid fool that put him for a 110%, believing and trust what every he said, waiting, hoping that one day everything is back to normal. Now a confirm , impossible.

我知道每个故事的开始，一定会有终结。紧紧抓住并不一定会有好的终结。如果时光可以倒流，生命可以重来，你最渴望回到生命的哪个阶段？
我，都不要。即使能重新再来一次，这世界未必会更好，太阳照样从东边升起，往西边落下。

人不为己，天诛地灭。

This will be the last time I cry for the person I love. No! I should say, I like.
活在梦里的我，伤痕累累，完全不值得。
谢谢你让醒悟。也明白开始未必是好，反而结束了是一种解脱。快乐是一天，伤心也是一天。倒不如，和心爱的人快快乐乐度过每一天。无论，发生什么事一定要互相包容，互相谅解。路，才会长久。

终“杰”
现在的我不会恨也不敢爱。我不会脱离带水，这就是终“杰”。

如果你是我的朋友的话，请你转告他：“你们是永远做不成朋友了，dont sms or find her anymore 一”

Okay, It is time for me to abandon this blog and url. If you want my new url, ask directly from me.

bye pirate.

None of a soul within miles

2010-05-04T19:30:00.003+08:00

I feel like killing myself for doing silly stuff! What a foolishly thinking!Seriously, "WHY DEMAND SO MUCH?!", I crann to myself daily.
This almost drives me nutss! School is not fine already, getting cumbersome after months of traveling with tedious lecturing and paperwork! Hectic day hardly gets me to just me sit down infont of my sweeeeeet computer to update blogger and play online games. Thanks to my brother, Brandon, for tending my farm,restaurant exchanging ingredients on facebook while I was away for something, troublesome. ZZZ. Good and bad news! Good news is that holidays is running towards me, WOOHOO. I Shall slack, for once( Like as if, I not slacking now,haha =X.) Bad news is the EXAMINATION. Nothing seems to enter, whatever entered can be recite out easily but after that my brain will be like 'empty!'. Vomiting out is easy getting in is hard. AH! I will must strive! "Go in don't come out :)" To encourage myself for studying so hard, after holiday I shall rent Movies and VCDs to watch! Mio can never satisfied me with nice dramas and movies even my family bought the channelssss. This is sad. I am looking forward to my nice nice holiday but not examinations.
Confidence, where are you?
A pair of gold village gold class movie tickets, here I come!

?!

2010-04-29T21:34:00.004+08:00

I'm sleepy! zZZzzz.. Starting from next two week, I will be struggling what a student need to struggle for(?). But still I willll try to update loh. Recently I say , do, know and understand weird stuff =/.

2010-04-27T20:14:00.006+08:00

珍惜眼前人。
即使，记忆消失了，但感情却是永远不会消失的。

致死不渝的爱情？

2010-04-20T17:19:00.007+08:00

相关心，互相照顾！
爱情？
轰轰烈烈也好，风风雨雨也罢，那只是一种考验而已！
最终只有两个人都不变心为了彼此坚持到最后，到死那一刻仍然深爱着对方，因为不舍对方而企求还有来生，来生还要在一起的爱情就是致死不渝的爱情。

现实里怕是找不到这样的爱情吧!

不能同生，只愿同死。千秋万世，至死不渝。

有很多人没有办法分别“喜欢”与“爱”。我知道，人嘛，还年轻，玩玩而已没有什么了不起。说是这样，可是但你爱上了一个你不该爱的人，“他/她”是否真心待你，你知道吗？爱情是盲目的，明明知道自己会受伤还是敢敢去爱。自私的“爱”并不是爱。

『爱你，伤痕累累，值得吗?』

有人说：“值得！”旁人说：“你很笨～”
看起来，已经放下过去，拥有美好的未来但心中还有一位念念不忘的人。这是舍不得，还是真爱呢？每个人一定会遇到一次的“真爱”，很多次的“喜欢”那么我的真爱呢？

错过了还是还 - - 没来？

未来？没人知。
为什么人类要这样，糟蹋自己，不择手段，得到自己想得到的东西？你的开心，快乐，满足换来别人的伤心，难过，痛苦这样的满足感，你不会内疚？你认为是你应得的，自欺欺人。敢爱敢恨，是爱还是喜欢？你知我知。
爱他，不该恨他。

天知地知你知我不知。
千秋万世，至死不渝 (:

2010-04-18T17:17:00.001+08:00

Lame right? I use 3 days to watch finish 43 episodes, My Date with a Vampire II. And then 1 day to watch New beginning episode 1 ~ 18.
Epic story line, My Date with a Vampire II. I like this drama very much =)
Now watching episode 3! JY!

Say no to PANDA eyes.
I really very tired, wake up at 5am everyday, sleep at 1am in the morning.
Studying is just an excuse for me, I watch drama almost everyday. My friend asked me, "wah?Still got time meh?" I replied,"maybe..?"
Sometime, I do regret decision I do and what I said. Sometime I may say harsh things.Don't take it too seriously! I don't even know what I am saying! -.- zzz
No money to find tutor. I bankrupt le!靠自己吧！加油！
I believe that practice more and read more and buy more books helps! But I'm getting lazier and lazier . OPS! Still, I hope that I can help myself 啦！
毕竟我已尽浪费了很多时间了！好了，就Update到这里！

Mexico cheese pasta

2010-04-12T18:25:00.005+08:00

My footwear, SANDAL. You know what the lady told me, she says, "sandal cannot wear hor, but sandal with a stripe behind can." ZZzzzzz? Isn't that sandal, still SANDAL?
Shoe, at least I am speechless. Seriously, if I'm not late for my lesson, I surely argue with that lady. The sandal she's talking about is not sandal, lame. Furthermore, I not wearing flip fop, she said I wearing it and ask me write my personal details. I think she needs a pair of glasses. 3 people standing there, 2 ask me go, she come and find me trouble. zzz! Sexy Miniskirt and dress/shorts/wearing flip fop never catch? WHY ME?? Asked me to write properly cant she read my hand-writing? Trying to agitate me, I know why! she jealous my handwriting, thats why! Haha, messy handwriting can read, neat 1 cannot? waste my time.
I am the last person leaving the room, so sad. =/
After school, I traveled all the way to 412 coffee shop to buy pepper chicken chop, Mexico cheese pasta + fries. yay!! So happy ^^ .
Very sleepy ... ...

Magic

2010-04-11T13:47:00.002+08:00

Tedious weekend! Finally, I have completed my assignment! It is time to take a break and RELAX! The stress kills my brain cells, AH! But doing so much, nothing seems to enter. This is bad, I know!

Yesterday, I went out to buy a book. This made us travel from one place to other searching for that book! Thank you for accomapany me, ci.
爱死你了啦！哈哈！

And who says sembawang shopping centre and sunplaz do not have BATA. AH! Still Say I scam you?! Sadded ;/ .

Hmm..................................... I wanna go out today, should I?

Stunning

2010-04-09T21:05:00.008+08:00

Pictures taken from Yahoo(Singapore) Travel , Unearthingasia.
Feel e` breeze! Look at the snowy-cap mountain! I love green, rainforest.

I feel weird nowadays, I have something in my mind but is a 'O-M-G' kind. I told somebody about it and he said that I am crazy and CMI(cannot-make-it). This is sad. Wish me all the best! hah..

Other thing on my mind now is something bad happened 2 ~ 3 days ago. I can't remember the exact day but this horrible, terrible conversation I had with a person really makes me sad until today. Your word hurts and led to disappointment .

I wanna peace and slient but I know this is impossible. Only humans lived nearby me will understand what I mean by that :( :( :(
Hope to earn enough money, buy house, move out. All above, I will study hard!
But I know, I will regret. HOW?

Complicated

2010-04-07T21:22:00.007+08:00

Sad, happy, sad, happy, sad, happy! What the hell i am thinking? Wasting my time staring at my screen, waiting for something magical to happen. Happy ending, in fairy tales. I can say, No matter how much time it takes, it will never heal the pain. The healing process is temporary. You will never understand!!!! easy to give up, hard to let go. Get it?

Pray you now, forget and forgive.
William Shakespeare, "King Lear", Act 4 scene 7

How are you?

2010-04-05T22:58:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night met my 2 bff for dinner. Being stupid and dumb, I can't really think properly and they help me analyse and organise my thoughts. You are right, a person who really likes you will never 'back things' behind you and bring in troubles instead he will clarify before hand and stay away. I am wrong by wrongful a human, but who really cares? Since gone why bother? Go home and cry. I almost cried out in the public yesterday, the topic seriously sensitive! SEE! I get both of your's point and picture! Right? ^^

School as usual. I love myself today as i rejected teamwork straight! My 1st time and I loving it! Hate me or not, your problem ! I don't care. And I am generous today, but due to my 'da ren you da liang', I exchanged coins for cash with somebodies good friend. Hmm I good huh? Ya, I feel like a good person now. Maybe I should put down hatred and not to rake anymore. Lazy, I am tired of wars and fake mask hanging on face. Maybe she may have been an accessory, somebodies accomplice,that implicated in someways, hand in glove with him, aiding and abetting. WHATEVER! None of my piggu's business!

I feel like having a kitchen of my own, with everything, including ingredients. Wish to cook something great and this definitely makes me feel good.

Suddenly, I miss my grey teddy bear, hope he's fine there.
Something bad must have happened, hmm..

SIGH!

Share with U .

2010-04-04T17:44:00.003+08:00

I find this interesting :)

Andrew Fazekas
Published April 1, 2010

Normally elusive, Mercury will be a "star" for most of April, shining brightly near Venus above the evening skyline.

Both planets will be visible to the naked eye for the next two weeks as bright, starlike objects that will dominate the low western sky shortly after sunset.

"From a place with a low horizon, one should be able to get a nice view of these two planets hanging in the darkening sky like gems," said Geza Gyuk, staff astronomer at the Adler Planetarium in Chicago.

As the cosmic duo climb higher, the'll reach conjunction—their closest approach to each other—on Saturday and Sunday.

Those nights the two planets will seem to be separated by only three degrees, or the equivalent of six full-moon disks.

Venus Guides Eyes to Mercury

Of the five planets visible to the naked eye, Mercury is usually the most challenging to see, because it never wanders far from the sun.

The innermost planet, Mercury orbits the sun so closely that a year lasts just 88 Earth days. (See pictures of Mercury taken by a passing spacecraft.)

As seen from Earth, Mercury tightly hugs the horizon, and it appears faint because it's swathed in the sun's glare.

"Most people never get to see Mercury, because it ... isn't very bright. But this conjunction is coming around Mercury's maximum elongation [the planet's farthest angle away from the sun] of 20 degrees on April 8," Gyuk said.

Brilliant Venus will serve as a guidepost for sky-watchers to easily find tiny Mercury. (Related: "Neptune Easier to Spot Now, Thanks to Jupiter.")

"Weather permitting," Gyuk said, "I'm certainly going to be out with my kids looking for Mercury!"

Full Planetary Collection

As an added bonus, planet-hunters already out to spy Venus and Mercury will be able to see all five naked-eye planets in a single night.

As darkness sets in, Mars will become visible directly overhead, appearing as a red-tinged, starlike object. A little later, Saturn will appear slightly above the eastern horizon and will rise higher during the night.

(Related: "Sky-watcher Beware: Mars Email a 'Spectacular' Hoax.")

Finally, the gas-giant planet Jupiter will rise in the east just before sunrise.

//

April 4, 2010
Lightning, Cape Town
Photograph by Warren Tyrer, My Shot

This Month in Photo of the Day: Nature and Environment

Two separate lightning bolts converge over Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa, with an amazing display of natural electricity.

Where to go

2010-04-02T22:36:00.002+08:00

A picture paints a thousand words, a fool's paradise.

The closer you get to the lighthouse, the darker it gets.

2010-04-01T22:23:00.004+08:00

I strained my back muscles so painful :(
The closer you get to the lighthouse, the darker it gets. This feeling, some will understand. I promised to enjoy my life more this year. But this week, all I've done is stress out over silly things. Sat quietly for ten minutes thinking why everything were totally screwed up. Is not my fault. And believe or not I am just a girl next door. Clear about what I want and then to challenge myself to walk through the fear, could I?

人的一生，所走的路，要不也正是如此，走到一半就停下来，看着过往的路人，向他们夸耀你所经历过的艰辛过程，看着别人已继续朝前迈进，而你还没醉在以往的收成里，不就是永远的三年级了吗？

Met 4 people today, Ahci is the 1st person, followed by Szehui, then Yuenhao(Old friend)and Richard! I can't believe that I strained my back muscles today, very painful! X__________X

Nothing can be changed until it is faced.

2010-03-31T19:03:00.009+08:00

Lost of motivation.
I know I can do better but seriously, I lost everything when I see someone-else, just reminding me of the past.
I really don't know how much time left. I want to scream my lungs out and forget everything I know. I need a right person to wheel me out.
Nothing can be changed until it is faced. I know.
Cry in 5 seconds? Tell you, I can.

:(

2010-03-30T22:31:00.002+08:00

What a ____ life.
Come and go.

Nightmare in school.

2010-03-29T19:13:00.003+08:00

Hmm.... I rather not to know anything, maybe, I will treat you nice like I always do. Seriously, I am shocked to knew that somebody whom was somebodies online's, OH! perhaps I should says, somebodies good friend, studied in my class. This is a terrible nightmare and painful memories recollect. Look out your window, sky outcry. I know, no point crying over a spilled milk but I really tried. I should have try much more harder. Numb myself is enough. I tell myself, since everything was over why can't I stop my nonsense in life? Life is fleeting, when will I begin a new journey my heart's desire. I, expect too much of myself and expect to change overnight. When it does not happen, I resign myself to stay the same, convinced that I am hopeless, weak, or unmotivated - which make me even more stuck. I know!

& I seriously feel terrible till now... ...

Thanks. For your listening ears, Ci. And your guidance, Hui.
Hoping for a better tommorrow, eh!

Goals

2010-03-28T19:24:00.003+08:00

Feeling stress and unhappy. I don't know why, I feel like skipping tmr's lesson, but I know, I can't do that. What should I do?????????

HIAS! Nothing can be changed until it is faced.
One thing clear to me is that you can't do everything you'd like to do... you must hold on to somethings and let go of others. Learning to make that choice is one of the big lesson of this life.

Write goals? Hmm...

Hairstyle

2010-03-27T22:40:00.008+08:00

In a maze, finding my way out. This feeling is terrible.

Had a haircut , today. Shoulder length! HIAS, but I regretted. I am wondering why some people, like me, tends to do things that make themselves regret? Hair will grow longer, but time will not reverse. Maybe I should have take your advice, Forget everything and just move on. Saying out is easy but what about the process? One word, Cherish. I hope everybody around know how to cherish! KILL that painful memory and store tears that drips to somewhere cannot be found. Sadness began to surface. I should not have online msn. Maybe this will helps.
I am really tired, tired of everything that makes me feel sad. Can you disappear, or make me happy? This is impossibe. SINCE this is impossible then why reappear infont of me again?

*i find myself SO funny, I cut le now regret, then later, i go extend ,regret again...HOWHOWHOW...zzzzzzzzz* Best is don't do anything, BUT I WANT PERM. zzz .. .One word, REGRET!

Bad Friday

2010-03-26T18:19:00.006+08:00

Everybody have their own experiences,observations, feelings, attitudes and life. It is up to you, whether you want to share or not. I do have alot of personal thoughts that I will like to share with netizens/readers.
Muffled sorrow Friday and I don't know how to describe my current feeling now, is definitely a bad one.

I need a 护花使者 to protect me！:)
DAMN PISSED . A fucktard guy in red with a pale white skin and pop eyes took video me playing para-para ! _|_ Still don't dare to admit! I regret never call the police! he is tiko! This is bad.

Soft and Warm!

2010-03-25T22:01:00.005+08:00

No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is, you still have to get ~~of it.~~ out .

快乐是什么？
不管过去的失败，生活不如意，底潮总是会过去。
用心看，你会发现，
天·好蓝
风·好柔
云·好轻
心·好快乐！

Vandalism

2010-03-24T20:35:00.006+08:00

WHAT THE HELL!
I hate people who vandalise national library books by tearing. Every single books in the library are shared, how can tear out any just pages like that? SO inconsiderate! In Fury now!!! GGARHH! %@&%#*!&, how can you do this!!! Why DO THIS!!!!! This is a selfish and vandalic act. You can print out or copy out , why must tear away? It's totally unfair to readers like me who wished to enjoy the book but, 5 missing pages, how am I going to continue and complete my story? It is just like I am going to chop off both of your legs and ask you to run in the field, can you run? Zzzz... Horrible humans. A life you know!!
你知道吗？每一本书都是有生命的! I feel sad for that book I borrowed. Amen!

Struggling super hard test paper today, everybody completes faster then me. Break time, I am still struggling, almost gone berserk. While the girls gone for their happyhour, the unpleasant side of guys surfaced. They watched funny but dirty YouTube(?) and songs, entertaining themselves. Seriously I think they forgotten that I am a girl. So when they played "THAT" loudly and I turned my head, they somehow trying to cover the flat monitor screen with a worksheets. I ignored. And again! I turned back again. This time covering the face, not the screen anymore. LOL! What reaction should I have? I know sharing is good but ... sharing at home will be nicer, isnt it? Aiyo @__@

Most of us encounter inconsiderate people on a daily basis. It's the person at the mall who neglects to hold a door open for you, or the woman at the grocery store who inadvertently cuts in line in front of you. Inconsiderate behavior can drain our spirits and leave us feeling irritable and cranky. It can wound our image of basic human nature and convert us to negative individuals. It can even make us behave rudely in response to inconsiderate behavior. We can probably all agree that there is no way to stop inconsiderate behavior from occurring. However, we do have control over how we respond to the inconsiderate people we meet. We can choose to become negative, or we can decide to exchange rude-for-rude. There is a better way that will keep us on a positive track and maybe change the attitudes of a few inconsiderate folks in the process. Some people call it killing them with kindness. By taking the higher road and meeting rude, inconsiderate behavior with a smile and a kind word, we just might be able to make the world we live in a little bit better place.

Sharing Personal Love Life.

2010-03-23T19:27:00.011+08:00

Almost everybody at my age struggling with a word ,LOVE.
I am surprised that you shared your personal love-life in class. I know, I can feel the pain you are having right now. I know 9 month is long, giving up is better choice rather then dragging for years, isn't it?
Many people,friends and even teachers, including strangers, warned me to leave him saying that he doesn't worth my love for him. He is bad, but I rejected. Every decision has a price to pay and now, I'm paying it. I, thanks for all your care and concern. I really appreciate it . There's still nice people around.
Someone whom I used to loved betrayed me, say lies with all sorts of funny reasons. I can explain, but it's too late. This friend of mine, killed me instantly infont of him. Thanks for killing me, I really don't know how to accept you as a friend anymore. After this incident, I am foolish enough to accept those funny reasons/excuses and continue for months and years. Even I knew that he is lying, what else can I do? Until the day, he officially made his final decision, that's to move on with other girl. My heart shattered into pieces. Last year, he tell me he decided to come back. I believed him and was overjoyed with tears. I am willing to give him a second chance. But in the end, he left me with his group of 'GOOD' friends again. From all of the above, you can see that my heart is controlling me, not my piggu brain!
Don't follow my foot steps, I don't feel good at all. Until now? YES.
Anyway he moved on. YES, don't worry about me. I will be fine.. I need many years to recover from this saded journey!

Everybody in life will meet 4 kind of people. Firstly, yourself. Secondly, a person you loved. Thirdly, A person who love you. Lastly, a person who you love, loves you and willing to spend their whole lifetime with you.

不管男人还是女人，爱情都是要勇气与付出。只有心中有爱的才能去爱人与被爱。要知道世界上可悲的不是付出爱却没有回报，而是已经不懂得如何去爱，不再具备爱人的能力。

Interesting classmates I had .

2010-03-22T20:13:00.008+08:00

School is as usual. HM, interesting classmates I had. In a life time, you'll be meeting many kinds of different people from different backgrounds. Be it good or bad, nobody knows unless they are moron/sicked enough to exposed the 'colourful-side' of theirs. What exactly is friends all about? From what I encountered in the past, making use, pushing faults and blames, sneering, destroying friendship & relationship. That's what you call a friend? This is seriously a heartbreaking! After hitting a nail, regrets began to surface. It was a terrible blow to me, for I never thought it could happen to me. To compound the shock, I lost a very important thing in life and it can never be found.
A BIG BIG HIASSS!!!
One word to describe, gap.
In class, I am a student who sit behind quietly and listen to whoever speaks. A joke, a tease, a fight, a comedy, an action, NC16, M18, R21. Teachers asked me, why I loved to sit behind? I laughed with no answers. What can the answer be? The younger, the more open they are, seriously. Sorry for my candid again. Sometimes, it's really funny enough to at least made me laugh for a few seconds. That's my life in school.

What exactly is life about?

2010-03-21T21:46:00.005+08:00

What exactly is life about? Be it happy or sad, life goes on.
I know, everybody who lives on earth experience much more then I do. Hardship they gone through in life, love, much more. In life, I experience a little, simply because I had protective parents and friends who loved me. They don't allow me to know ' adults stuffs and topics' and treating me like a innocent girl next door, when I'm still in my secondary school life. Many thanks! Until now,What exactly is life about?? A BIG QUESTION MARK ABOVE OF MY HEAD !! Not put on blames, I will explore.
Beginning, I don't even know the differences between the 2 words "Like" and "Love". As a typical student, all I know is study and play. So, what is relationship all about? From my stupidity experiences, teenagers like us tends to crush easily for people who's good at sports, studies and looks. For me, a YES! HAHA! I crushed easily for nerd-kind guy who's super good in studies or sports! At first I don't take it seriously, as I treat it like 'A close friend that knows everything' until years changed me. This is when I started to understand things around me, take the risk to accept knowing that on earth there's no everlasting love, as humans will die. Had you ever experienced REAL love and unwilling to give up LOVE?? This is the time when I finally realised what is the real meaning of "LIKE" and "LOVE". This is not profound at all. Only thing you need to do is to experience it. It's hard for a person to forget somebody you loved. The only thing that can be forgotten easily is somebody you liked. After my history love ,She asked me if I still love him? "Love can never be a past tense!", She totally freak out when I says this, knowing that he already moved on. Cherish , Trust and Honest. Afterall, the key to open is 'be honest' with youself, a lie will led you to painful regret